why is it in human nature...that we only appreciate the people & things we took for granted only when they're no longer around us? when we have them, we fail to realize their importance. we fail to understand how lucky or blessed we are to have these things. but when push comes to shove, when hurt & pain snowball into a cataclysmic mountain, these people leave...these things are taken away from us.
only then does regret sink in. sometimes, its too late. the chances we were given failed to register in our heads. the friends you stood up or keep thinking that they'll always be around for you suddenly cease to exist in this life anymore. the ones we love, have finally given up.
me and Kristina were at this coffeeshop in Chinatown. don't ever go there. they charge $2 for a can of jia jia herbal tea...bloody hell..didn't even get a cup of ice....
Steve and Ronald warming up before our Baybeats auditions...as you may have guessed, we didn't get in.
my last day at the Box....
in between, Lena, a good friend of mine that i met in Byron Bay dropped by singapore on the way back home to germany from australia. was nice to catch up after so many months.
my new work place.
my desk, fully setup after a month of waiting or so...
mizeryfree's very own dressing room at Training Ground at the Esplanade. we felt like rock stars for that one day...haha...
err...yah. me and Kristina just had to check this place out...see who all the assholes and idiots on the game are like...monsters i tell you...
Kristina and I enjoying a light desert lunch before going to watch Caroline at the Esplanade.
Daniel, who's currently based in Bangkok, came to singapore to do his research presentation.we met up for dinner and catch up which was nice. he's a friggin good 3D animator. and the following day, i was off to...
Sweden! went with Kristina to check the place out and visit her family.
in the city. huge...lots of people...some were rather interesting to say the least....emo-kids..metal-heads...potential drug-dealers...etc...
this costs about the same price as a 2 macdonalds meals combined...but it is SO wicked...tunnbrödsrulle is the name of this evil object.
me and Neil went to the Cure concert...and we paid for the most expensive tix...but hey, we sat at the SWEET spot...so it was awesome.
Arthur and Eric celebrating their birthdays with a spongebob squarepants cake...hehe...
and that's the last we'll ever see K2 with that length of hair for a long time...sigh...
my mom and Ariel (my niece). she's growing up so fast..and getting VERY chatty....*gulp*
our first rehearsal with the Fritz Quartet for the Nightsound in Motion show.
my very modest pedal board setup.
my dad with Kristina in penang, buying tao sar peah (which is the best in penang by the way...)
Kristina's last day with me and my friends in Singapore...SIGH
ok, so this blog is starting to collect some serious dust here. I haven't really been able to find the right amount of focus to actually sit down & properly pen out my thoughts. where shall we begin...
Nightsound finished the Arts House showcase in October. we played to an almost packed room & lots of familiar faces showed up, so that was quite nice. the videos from that show are looking really excellent..my favorite is still Remember Me.
Kristina just went back home to Sweden. unfortunately, things didn't work out here for her with regards to her job. to sum it up, the company was just WAY too chinese for their own good. other than that, erratic levels of heat + humidity, constant idiots in public transport situations just got a little bit too much for her. also, she wanted to go back & pursue a different course of study. now, its gonna be a long 1.5 year wait before i join her there...
things at my job...aren't really going that well. i hate going to work. there's hardly anything to do. i'm stuck in an office where privacy isn't really anyone's concern & i have to deal with & tolerate with nonsense every single day, be it from the boss or a particular colleague (sometimes its colleague(s)...but that's another story). the level of work motivation there is ridiculously low. i'm somehow starting to feel its influence & beginning to slack.
i've done my fair share of work...handed in whatever i needed to do on time, so the rest isn't really my concern, right? i try to occupy my time by working on other projects, one of which was Kenny's recent film, Fading Jasmine. trust me, composing for that film within a week in MY office, was a fuckin' nightmare.
i like to tell friends that my office isn't exactly the most conducive place to exert any kind of musical creativity 'cuz its practically like a LAN gaming shop. I am NOT exaggerating. in my head everyday, i think "you wanna slack off, play your bloody warcraft & stuff, by all means, go ahead. but for the love of GOD, shut the hell up." peace & quiet is non-existent at my office. and the bulk of the noise pollution is coming only from one idiot.
i fear, sometimes, that i've traded stability for monotony. sure, the pay's good, the job's stable. but it is such a soul-killing place to work at. job satisfaction.....WHAT job satisfaction?? sadly, i can only look at the dollars & cents now. i need the money in order to save up. save up for my big transition in time to come. 'till then, LL suck thumb.
what would u rather have? a job that assures you decent/good salary, stability but no future prospects in any other companies & has the most fuckin' sterile environment to work in....OR....a job that works u to the ground, pays u peanuts but gives u immense job satisfaction & the ability to walk your head up high every day knowing how hard u worked & how good u are at your craft?
i've bitched & moaned enough. think its time to dust myself off & get productive/proactive. mizeryfree needs a serious reboot soon. we gotta start jamming again...
dear friends, i'll be performing on the 14th of October(Sunday), 7pm at The Arts House with Nightsound. Tickets are available directly from The Arts House at SGD$25 so please get them there. Hope to see as many people there as possible as this show means alot to me & the rest of Nightsound as we'll be performing alongside other guest musicians & artistes. It'll be a semi-acoustic set performance so if you've already bought the new album 'Circus In Motion", expect to hear the songs on the album, as well as several from previous albums like "Bleed" & "I", in a very different & exciting arrangement.
its been a while since i updated this blog. updating to me seems like a rather tiresome task these days. i've got quite a lot of pics to put up but i guess that'll come soon enough.
i recently went up to Sweden with my girlfriend Kristina. the process of waiting for the s-pass application was taking ridiculously long due to various hiccups made by her company, manpower & SAE. fucking bastards, each & everyone of them. in any case, sweden was excellent. her family was really warm & hospitable & i really enjoyed my time there, despite it being a really short trip of 1 week & burning a major hole in my wallet. her apartment is next to a forest & stockholm city is like 30mins away by bus & train. best of all, people there actually give way to alighting passengers! no 'pushing & cluster-fucking their way thru to get a seat' type of nonsense. all in all, really good.
work is starting to slow down somewhat. i'm done with the production phase for the sfx & music for the game. now we just need to integrate everything in & iron out the kinks along the way. there're some other projects coming up but they haven't handed me any materials yet so i'll just chill-ax a 'lil first.
just finished watching this film about human trafficking for the sex trade called 'Lilja 4-Ever'. its probably one of the most depressing films i've watched in a while. it doesn't leave u feeling inspired. it just leaves u feeling like shite. about humanity. about compassion. innocence. all these traits are severely lacking. don't get me wrong, its a really good film. just that u feel really shit about everything afterwards. if anyone wants to watch it, just ask me for the dvd.
the thought of leaving has recently been on my mind alot. i dunno if its the wisest or stupidest life decision i'll ever make. i don't really know. but i do know that i want to do it. at least for 2 to 3 years. nothing ventured nothing gained? it might be a temporary or permanent stay. nothing's for certain now. but i just really wanna show my folks that i can be independent, living in an apartment, providing for myself & Kristina. its a really scary thought. but it'll be a thought to ponder & plan on for the next 2 years...
international acts i've seen & enjoyed... :
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-sigur ros
-india arie
-jaga jazzist
-caroline
-the cure
will be away in stockholm, sweden for a week+. will be back next weekend. hopefully this will be a good break away from routine for me..maybe some much needed rejuvenation of sorts...soak up the culture..& most importantly the weather, which should be anytime heaps better than the shit weather here in sg. 'till then, be safe people.
i've been finding it a major hassle to update this blog. perhaps too many prying eyes which i've feared have been reading these entries. but perhaps, i really don't care anymore.
much has happened. i've switched jobs. thankfully, still doing sound design related work though, as well as a bit of composing but i'd rather think of it more as music arrangement. composing is one of the most tedious & mentally draining tasks to do professionally. i wish it was still in an audio post-type studio...but at least beats being unemployed.
pretty shit ass weather lately. i need new shoes. rain water keeps seeping into my shoes from a hole in sole(no puns intended).
people i know are changing. some for the better, some for the worse. i dunno if i'm still hanging around with the right company though. i get easily agrivated these days.
alot has happened. currently in a rocky & unstable phase. hopefully things will settle down soon. the insecurities are starting to creep back in. need to drive them all away.
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btw, the venue has shifted for our gig this coming sunday. it won't be at the usual outdoor stage at esplanade cuz its currently under renovations. instead, it'll be over at the PowerHouse Stage(aka. the Arena stage at Baybeats), next to the makansutra foodcourt area. yes, its that huge ass stage. die lah...~
april 15th (sunday) marks our first gig for 2007 after more than a year & the very first time we'll be playing at the esplanade outdoor stage. really hope to see alot of familiar faces...& that those familiar faces drag down their friends along! we'll also be debuting some new songs that hopefully signal a change in mizeryfree's direction...
the band's working their asses off for this show. hope we don't disappoint.... ;)
its not the end of the world. its not the end of the world. its not the end of the world. its not the end of the world. its not the end of the world. its not the end of the world. its not the end of the world. its not the end of the world. its not the end of the world. its not the end of the world. its not the end of the world.
well, i'm finally working full-time as my current dream job at the place where i've been yearning to work at for quite a while. i'm quite thankful n lucky to have gotten it...alot of factors involved but yah, really thankful.
i thought i knew a bit about sound design but ever since joining the company, everything just went out the window. i still have so much more to learn and many years to go. i just hope that i can pick it all up as fast as i can...improving my skills along the way.
was on the bus earlier on..saw this old lady sitting opposite me but she was dressed rather 'hip' for her age. she was munching on one of those really old choclate wafer biscuits that we used to eat in primary school(kinda red-ish looking wrapper). her arms had a variety of scars all over, some looked like scratches whilst some look like deep cuts. the whole image saddened me for some reason.
just sent christina off today. i think i felt lost earlier in the morning while on my way to work. it really hit me when i was walking back home...suddenly this huge hole/emptiness surrounding me. perhaps i've found my soulmate...but time will tell..
mizeryFree is starting to get back on track. we're currently scheduled to play at the esplanade on april 15th(sunday) for a gig organized by aging youth. the band has been working on new material quite intensely over the past few weeks. hopefully the new material will signal a change in musical direction & sound as well.
how do u measure success? or more importantly, how do u measure happiness?
is it by the amt of $$$ a person earns? is it by the length of time a person spends in a happy relationship? is it by achievements? trophies? medals? praises?
perhaps the one thing that runs through my mind the most lately is that of finding a job. well, to be more specific, finding a job at an audio post studio and being an engineer/sound designer there. i dunno if that'll happen anytime soon as i'm still in the process of sending out my resume & portfolio. my works are kindof like a hit or miss affair. sometimes, i think it's 'decent' or 'not too bad'...sometimes, i think its utter crap, which makes me feel doubtful abt getting prospective employers to be impressed with my work.
perhaps, that's my problem. putting myself down too much without taking a step back to look at the bigger picture to tell myself that i've gotten myself this far. kenny calls it 'battling my inner demons'.
sorry for the delay in getting those pics up. i'll try to do it soon..since i've got loads of free time, unfortunately.
i've finally decided to create a new myspace account that's solely just for my solo project. the other account was created long ago way before myspace music even existed...so i thought it was damn troublesome to create a new one.
i'm finally done with my research. all that's left now is the presentation and my work placement logbook. will be returning to singapore in october. not sure if i'm really looking forward to it though. too many worries on my mind, number 1 being finding a job. its just a constant thought at the back of my head...like, its all fun n laughter for now, but wat happens when i'm done? when i finally leave this god-forsaken shit hole n return back home?
my sis is gonna give birth to her 2nd kid anytime soon(another baby girl). that's something to look forward to at least. hopefully she'll turn out to be as cute as ariel...hehe....
momentum n drive is at an all-time low. wat to do? things take a toll..let it all slide i guess...
